After the recent rumours that Apple are removing the 3mm headphone jack, and then the home button from the forthcoming iPhone 7 that is being launched this coming Autumn, the giant tech company has dropped another bombshell on the smartphone market.
To make the iPhone 7 thinner we are taking away the microphone and speaker system. Our research and development department have done a lot of work with the concept of shouting. We invited 1000 members of the public to our headquarters in Cupertino and asked them all to shout. Very loudly. As loud as they could. Another group made calls on their iPhones. The results were beautiful. You could hear the shouting group far better than those on the phone. In fact the shouting group were so clear that they made it impossible to have a conversation on the phone.
The future of the smartphone market is shouting.
So there you are. You heard it here first. Analysts are already discussing the impact of this development. A spokesperson from Samsung disagreed with the direction Apple were taking.
In our opinion the future of the smartphone is in AI, not shouting. We are developing a more helpful personal assistant. It will make your decisions for you. Then you can just ask it what you are doing that day, and it will tell you.
Either way will will know the result of this new direction in a few months.